


Supernatural ABC's

by drabbleshereandthere



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brad is a fucking prick, Castiel is a Sweetheart, Cheating, Cute Ending, Dean is Bad at Feelings, Dean is a Good Friend, Depression, Djinni & Genies, Djinnverse (Supernatural), Drunkenness, F/M, Fake Character Death, Falling In Love, False Memories, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Forehead Kisses, Gabriel is a Little Shit, Guilt, Hallucinations, Happy Ending, Hot Chocolate, Human Gabriel, Kissing, Men of Letters Bunker, Multi, One Shot, Physical Abuse, Reader almost dies, Reader-Insert, References to Depression, Sam is a Little Shit, Sam is a Sweetheart, Suicide, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-11-22 03:13:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11371416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drabbleshereandthere/pseuds/drabbleshereandthere
Summary: Reader will be paired with a character in each one shot, but not every one will end happily or 'normal' in a sense based on the letter. [Ex.A for angst could end badly or A for alien could end strange.] Each letter will be paired with a word, and the word will either be randomly chosen or have something to do with Supernatural. Doesn't really matter from where the word was chosen, each one shot will be based off the word and will be in the SPN universe.Most of these will be fluff. :3





	1. Authors Note

Hope you enjoy this, my biggest concern is what I'll use for the letters. Please request, it fuels me to write.


	2. A is for Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas comes to visit at the bunker and you introduce him to hot chocolate.

  That day had to have been the coldest you'd experienced in a while. As soon as your head lifted off the pillow that morning, your body shivered and you could practically see your breath in the air. Snow was piled on layer after layer on top of the stone cold ground, and you needed a bit of a pass time to sit out the day along with a source of warmth. Bad weather meant no hunting for you, and quite frankly it was boring. Reading books, complaining about the cold, and sleeping the day away weren't exactly doing the trick so you decided to ask Sam for any ideas. He had to have been trying to bore you even more because of course, he recommended reading up on lore. You let out a heavy sigh as you kindly -tried to kindly- reject the idea. Sam let out a breathy laugh and closed the book he was reading, looking up at you. "Well, why don't you ask Cas to come entertain you?" You shot him a bitch face, "Sam. Are we talking about the same person here? The adorably lost being that gets confused over simple things? How would he entertain me?" You had to admit, spending most of the day with nothing to do made you pissy. Sam shook his head and held his hands up in false surrender. "Look, Y/N. It was just a suggestion. Do what you want." First order of business was a huge fluffy blanket, you definitely  _wanted_ that.

 

_~_

_Do what you want._

 

Even though you had bitched about Cas, as soon as Sam mentioned him, you knew he was what you wanted. So here you were, praying to Cas looking like a fool. You'd just rejected the idea of praying to him yet here you were with your eyes shut, body wrapped in a blanket and a message flowing through your mind. The thought of how stupid you must've looked then couldn't help but make it's way into your head and you scoffed.

_Hiya Cas, I was wondering if you could drop by the bunker and give me something to-_

''Hello, Y/N." You let out a startled scream and your ass hit the floor. "Cas, what the hell?" "You are surprised but.." He paused. "I am very sure your prayer was directed towards me.'' "It was, but goddamn it you surprised me. Showing up in the middle of it all, I didn't even get to finish." Cas' brows furrowed. I am sorry, you were requesting my presence." You rose to your feet with a groan. "Yeah, I was. I need you to take me out of this boredom hole I'm stuck in." "You aren't actually in a hole, it was a metaphor.'' He seemed proud of himself. "Yeah, tell me something I don't know." "Well, Japan is a stratovolcanic archipelago of 6,852 islands. The four largest islands are- "Cas, I didn't mean it literally. Let's just do something fun." "I believe Dean once said, all the fun is downstairs." "Cas, no, thats not-" With a flutter of wings, he was gone. 

 

 You made your way downstairs with haste, "Cas? You down here?'' "Yes. I am currently looking for something entertaining. Dean seemed very sure when saying 'fun is downstairs' to me. Although, Sam was not as sure." You buried your face in your hands, screw Dean and his perverted sex jokes. You didn't want to admit it, but it made you grin. Castiel was looking through the cabinets. He pulled out a red box with a cup on the side from one of the many rows of storage, the bunker really was huge. "Y/N, what is this? Hot chocolate?''

Light bulb. 

"Oh, this is perfect!" You took the box from his hands and opened it up, pulling out two packets then handing it back. ''How is this perfect? What is hot chocolate?'' "Hot chocolate is a hot drink that's good with marshmallows, which we actually have. It's usually drunk around this time anyway, so that's why our situation is perfect." You flashed him a wide smile and started to follow the packet instructions. Cas watched you intently as he saw you pull the cups from the microwave. "Marshmallows or none?'' "I was not aware I would be consuming this...drink" "You know now, I'm giving you marshmallows." You sprinkled a few into each cup and set his mug in front of a chair at the table. "Sit, I think you'll like it." He sat down and slowly brought his mouth to the brim of the mug, letting the liquid brush his lips for a moment before swallowing. "My vessel, Jimmy, he enjoys this." A rare smile formed on his lips, "That's good. I knew you'd like it." When he lifted his lips from the cup, you burst out in laughter, it filled the room and you were sure Sam and Dean could hear it. "What's so amusing?" "You- You've got a, a cocoa mustache." Cas wiped it off with a rare grin and looked to you.

 

  "Is this what you wanted, is this fun?" With a smile taking over your face, you replied, "Yeah, fun. Years ago, the idea of sipping hot cocoa with an angel in the middle of a bunker would've been crazy. But to think of it as fun, really shows me how much I've changed." "Is that what I am to you?'' A look of confusion settled on your face, that was what he was, an angel. "Well yes, that's what you are. Does it trouble you?" "I just assumed that you may think of me differently. Rather than just an angel. A friend, or someone you hold dear." Cas looked uneasy, like he was missing something, like something he wanted, wasn't there. "I do think of you that way, I just was thinking of you in hindsight. You don't have to worry." 

 

In mere moments, you were stepping out of your chair and making your way over to him. You held his face in your hands and lowered your lips to his. "You've got nothing to worry about, angel." Before exiting the room, you left him with a flustered face and a pat on the back. Cas ran his fingers over his lips and watched you, repeating your phrase in his head.

 

_ You've got nothing to worry about, angel. _

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo A is for Angel, what did you think? Reminder that requests are important, so is feedback, I need motivation. Keeps me going. :)


	3. B is for Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader goes on a hunt alone to clear her head and Dean is there for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writers block was real guys but I finally got something out. Like this took me soooo long.

 

A lot of time had passed since you'd done a hunt on your own. Ever since you started staying in the bunker with the boys, all hunts that were tracked down became a job for all of you. Hunts just worked better that way, with you 3 striving towards a common goal of saving people and hunting things rather t han bickering. At the beginning the 'arrangement' was a little rough. You needed time to adjust to how the boys did things. Steps were taken in different orders or resources differed between you. But, nowadays things are quick and conversations are had fluently. Working together was one of the best decisions you'd ever made. Help with hunting wasn't the only thing coming out of it. Sam had marked his place as family in your heart and Dean, well- he had a place in your heart too. Although, not exactly the same as his brother's. Your love for the boys was unparalleled, yet some times things had to be done alone.

   Time alone was something you wanted, just for a bit. Lately your mind had clouded over with melancholy thoughts, filled with wild oceans of untamed feelings, and you needed something to distract yourself. Something you knew how to do well, and something that took effort enough to concentrate on; hunting. Hunting wasn't an uncommon way to cope for hunters, so you decided maybe this case two states over could help instead of resorting to drowning in alcohol. It seemed easy enough, honestly, just a salt and burn. Salt and burns were something like child's play at this point-or so you thought. The first mistake that was made was that you believed it would be easy. Deep in your mind you knew you should never underestimate a job, but you were looking at it as just a coping mechanism and the focus of saving others was long gone. Just an added bonus. 

   Once a couple of texts were sent to Sam and Dean about the upcoming hunt, albeit lacking details on why, you dove headfirst into the hunt. No attention was towards the messages back you received from Dean about his worry. Desperation to escape from the bleak areas of your mind was high. Guilt was eating you up, about those who you couldn't save.

_How ironic that it wasn't your focus, yet you felt regret over it._

Over time, you adapted to Sam and Dean's help. So now that it had been so long with assistance, going on your own without it was difficult. It was like you couldn't get the right answers, or you could never pinpoint the correct people you needed to speak to. Everyone was feeding you information you'd already heard or knew little to nothing about what was happening. It was agitating, you had previously thought this case would take no effort. Yet now here you were struggling with something that you were positive would've been simple. So, you headed back to your hotel room and slammed the door out of frustration. Soon enough you were pacing and your nails were digging into your scalp from how you were holding your head. You had contemplated asking for someone's help multiple times by now, but every time it come back to the same answer: you needed to do this on your own. 

  Get _a hold of yourself, [Y/N]._

  This case was taking a long time and deaths just kept piling up. Innocent blood was spilled without anyone fighting back. Lives of people were moved to the front of your priorities by now, but since you couldn't help them, there was no distraction. It was only added guilt and more death to deal with. More voices, more thoughts driving you further into the ground. It was suffocating you, not being able to get rid of what was terrorizing these innocent people. Families, torn apart. They were trying to live a normal life, and they were being picked off one by one. 

                                                                                              _This is all your fault._

It was endless, at this point your eyes were watering and you were sure stress was going to consume you. Problems aren't so little anymore when lives are on the line. Trying to find a way of relief wasn't working out too well. But, eventually you settled on a shower. As you were stripping your clothes from your body, you looked at yourself in the cheap hotel mirror. You could see the stress of your face, there were dark circles and light crows feet next to your yes. You shook your head and let yourself enter the shower. The feeling of hot steam and water surrounded you, and it made you all that more less tense. It felt amazing, the water was washing away all the troubles of the day even if just for a moment and the liquid slipping down your body soothed you. While basking in the new-found feeling the shower gave, you proceeded to wash yourself. It felt like grime wasn't the only thing coming from you. Relief was coming from you in waves. It was temporary, but it was better than sulking. You turned off the shower, stepped out onto the tiled floor and dried yourself off. After slipping back into some clothes you knew you wanted to do more research but deciding that nothing was going to get done without proper rest, you let yourself begrudgingly stroll to the bed. Almost as soon as your eyes shut, you drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

_The next day..._

 

  You woke up to incessant knocking on your hotel door.  _Goddamn it, what now?_ You blinked your eyes a few times and pulled yourself up. "Just a second, I'll be there." Your body was only clothed in sleeping pajamas but who was a cleaning woman to judge? As you approached the hotel door, you yawned and rested your hand on the knob, pulling it open. "I'm not sure why-"  _Oh._ It was Dean. He was standing there at your hotel door in a suit. "Well, you sure aren't the cleaning woman." Completely disregarding the fact that you were in pajamas. "Yeah, I sure as hell ain't. Found you with some of that tracking shit Sammy does. What were you thinking coming out here all alone trying to hunt?' I was-" he inhaled a breath. "Actually I wanna know why. You didn't respond to any of my messages, you- goddamn it do you know how worried I was?'' This was completely out of character for Dean. "We gonna talk about this with you standing outside the door?" You raised an eyebrow but you couldn't help but linger on the fact that he came all the way out here for  _you._  He huffed and pushed past you, walking into the room. You shut the door and turned to look at him, his expression was softer this time. "I know there's somethin' going on with you. You never hunt alone, we always go together [Y/N]. Me, you an' Sammy." "I just needed time alone Dean." "I know that already. I wanna know why. You been gone for a couple weeks now and with all the news still comin' from this place, ain't no real huntin' been done. What's goin' on?'' You were going to break down. You could feel it, your eyes were watering and your breaths were getting shallow. With him in front of you, a man you  _love._ Standing in front of you, genuinely concerned about your well-being, offering to be there. Nobody had done that before. So you tried to say something in effort to lighten the mood. "Thought you said-  _Your voice broke -"_ no chic flick moments?'' You were staring at him, trying to smile with tears running down your cheeks. "Screw that, just come here." He walked over to you and threw his arms around your waist, pulling your head into his chest. 

  Your body was wracking with sobs as you cried into his chest and he tried the best way he could. He just wasn't used to all of this, but he knew you needed someone there for you at the time, and this, this is something he could do. 

  A few minutes later, you started to calm down and your place had changed. Dean was sitting on the bed holding you as you straddled his lap. "You don't gotta say anythin' right now. But I-" You interrupted him briefly. "I just need time. That's all. I'll get around to telling you eventually." You sniffled and raised your head up to look at him. He nodded and so did you, in agreement. You must've looked like a mess. Your had bed head, a tear stained face and you were clad in pajamas. Yet, he still pressed his lips to yours It was sweet, and slow. After you pulled away, he looked at you. "No telling Sammy about all this chic flick stuff." You shook your head and both of you began to laugh together. 

 

* * *

 

  _A week later..._

Things were better. You and Dean had wrapped up the hunt together, along with your guilt. Dean made sure you got better, saw through every fake smile, every half-assed explanation, he was there and he understood you. Back at the bunker, you and Dean were starting to become something more. No I love yous were shared because that just wasn't the kind of guy Dean was, and you didn't want anything to happen too suddenly. You knew in your heart that things would change. After you had bonded with him, you both shared a closer relationship. Even though neither of you had said that you loved each other, it didn't have to be said. You both just  _knew._  Eventually the time would be right, so you would both have to wait. You had to wait a long time to get the bond you both had now, but something more would be worth the wait. Worth everything to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is important, leave it. All is appreciated. Also requests because that's my motivation is bascally what you want to see. rEqUeSt sHiT. I tried to make this longer for you guys.


	4. C is for Covet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request:These are so cute and well-written!! Also, for requests, maybe some cliche Jealous!Dean thing? Like where he and the reader are just friends and she's dating someone else and he gets all grumpy about the guy and boom. Feelings 
> 
> Req. from- CruiseController

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really liked the "boom. feelings'' but I think I'm gonna be going more for a "realization. Feelings." kinda vibe if you got me. Also, the problem I had with the request was my own. I was trying to think of a way for the reader and Dean to end up together but then I realized 'oh shizzle the req ain't say shit about that'. Meaning that this could have ended a multitude of ways. SO SINCE I'M TRASH FOR ANGST AND DEAN IS MY QUEEN I DECIDED READER AND DEAN WUS GONNA DO SOME THINGS BUT ANGST WAS GONNA GET THROWN IN ANYWAYS. Enjoy my suffering. 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> PLEASE READ END NOTE

 

  When you were younger, everything you could ever dream of was princes, princesses, dragons, and great adventures. Things didn't turn out as great as they seemed. Rather than dragons and courageous heroes, you got monsters and hunters. Which, you had learned to appreciate in your own way. Dean and Sam were hunters, and they sure as hell saved your ass multiple times as you did theirs. The two brothers were their own type of princes. Instead of slaying mighty dragons and saving damsels in distress, they dealt with other things. Asshole angels and douche bag demons.

  As you'd come to accept that, you'd accepted other things that weren't in your best interest as well. You'd always settle for things that were less than you deserved or given up what you wanted simply because you had believed that what you got was what you had to work with. So, when you got into a relationship for the first time in years and your boyfriend started beating you- Bradley - you accepted that too. You knew that maybe this of all things - an abusive relationship - wasn't something you should settle for. But you were scared.  _If I tell anyone, what will they think? I don't want people to think I'm weak. What if he punishes me even_  more? You didn't want anyone to know, it would be mortifying. One thing you knew for sure was that he hurt you out of pure enjoyment.The thought of him hitting you on accident, or because he was just angry one day was out of the question. Bradley would grin and taunt you as he was marking you up.  _"Such a submissive little bitch. You aren't even defending yourself."_ If you did, it would end up being worse. 

Brad was smart too, always targeting places that no one could see. Under your clothing there were countless skin welts and big yellow/purple bruises. Nobody would ever know that you were hurting. It made hunts hard, you'd let out random hisses of pain and have to come up with shit excuses,  you would always patch yourself up in fear of someone seeing. The boys didn't know and you didn't want them to. Your house, that you shared with him, it was no longer home. There was no sense of security or feeling of love and warmth. Just cold, dark, fear, and nothing but.

 What made things better was that you didn't see him as often as he'd like due to hunting. Because of this, some nights Brad would beat you harder and for longer, but it was better holding it off than getting hit every night. Most days you would cry, pray that someone - anyone - would come to your aid. But no one had so far. So you just kept hoping. there was new-found comfort in the boys, and Dean more often than not was always there in his own way whenever he could tell you were having a hard time. 

* * *

 

 

 After so long of relentless beating, he found someone else. Bradley started bringing a woman home. There was no asking why or what, you understood. He wanted you gone. You always hid in the closet, like he told you to. Brad treated her well, he took her out to dinner and complimented her. In front of the woman, he was a gentleman. You would sit there and silently cry, after she would leave he'd open up your hiding place and find you sitting in a pool of tears. All he did was smile. He  _loved_  to see you were suffering. It was all a game, and he wanted to know how long it would take you to lose. To die. Your tears and screams of pain only urged him on. he might have loved you once, but that time was far gone.

   _Guilty._ You felt guilty.  _Why wasn't i good enough? Did he ever want me? I wonder if he would take me back. _Inside you could tell you didn't love him. Not anymore. But nonetheless you felt like it was your fault. That was something you weren't so sure of. What did you do to make him hurt you in the first place? The thoughts wouldn't leave your head, and they desperately wanted to get out.even more so after that day. 

  One night, he was drunk. Shit faced drunk.The woman came again that evening and told him she didn't think things were working out. After she had been long gone he ripped you from the closet and hit your face for the first time, then proceeded to down an entire bottle of tequila on his own. Brad was hiccuping and throwing up all over the floor. He almost decided to shove your face in it until he noticed he was fed up with you. He shoved you out of the house, down the steps and into the pouring rain. You were sobbing, laying on the ground in the rain with scrapes on your arms and legs. Your clothing was soaked, and your hair was an absolute mess. "Get the hell out of here! I'm so-  _ throw up- " _ fucking tired of you!'' He wiped his mouth and started cursing at you with the tequila bottle still in in his hand. Brad went stomping through the house and came outside. "Here!" - He threw your car keys -"Take the goddamn car, see if I care! Go away, be alone, and fucking die." He threw the bottle and it hit you in the head, knocking you out. Brad left you there in the rain unconscious as he grumbled to himself and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

 

You woke up a few hours later, still sitting in the road, with a pulsing pain in the side of your head. It was dark out, about 2am. It was easy to assume you two were over, and he told you to leave so you did. There wasn't really any place for you to go except the bunker, so after a moment of sobbing and thinking, that's where you went. The drive was agonizingly slow, as you were looking at your disheveled state in the rear view mirror. There was a huge bruise on your jaw from where he hit you and your hair was still damp. Your body was shaking furiously and you probably had gotten sick. After you came to the entrance of the bunker, you turned back and went to him.  _I can't let them do anything for me._

As you knocked on your door, it opened almost instantly. Bradley was still awake drinking. You lowered your head to the ground and walked inside.  _This is what I have._ _I need to work with it. I don't want to be alone._

Time had passed since then. About three weeks, and your bruise was gone. Dean was missing you desperately. He wanted to have you, to see you there with him instead of wherever else you were. It was a need to make sure you were okay, and stable. What were you even ding? All he knew was he wanted you, and he wanted you bad, as much as he tried to dispose of that thought. He wasn't used to feeling that way, so he didn't contact you. He didn't want you to know he was yearning to see you. Dean and Sam hadn't asked you about your lack of hunting yet and he hadn't spoken to you, not one word. Although no words were shared, punches were, between you and Brad. It made you all the more uneasy. . "We're going out. Get your ass up and let's go." He left out the door and you quickly trailed behind, not wanting to upset him. After a while your destination was clear. He was taking you both to the local bar, and as you entered you saw something you didn't want to. Dean was there, drinking. His eyes found yours and you quickly turned away. he could read you so well that it was scary, and you didn't want him to know what was happening. Brad noticed your discomfort and gripped your arms, pulling you up to him. You let out a small whimper as he spoke.

 "The fuck are you actin' weird for? Be grateful ya' whiny bitch." Your head slowly nodded and you didn't even have to look at Dean before Brad was on the ground. Dean threw him off you and went down to hit him again until you tried to pull him back. He looked at you with concerned eyes and his brow furrowed. Dean gripped you by your hand and tugged you out of the bar. You could hear Brad protesting inside but it looked like people had pulled him back. Dean got you both in the impala and started driving."You can't just take me away from him, Dean! He's what I've got! I know you've gotta be upset but-" "You got me."  _What?_ "He ain't even close to all you got. Me an Sammy, hell - even Cas -you got us." 

   _This is what I have._ _I need to work with it._   _"You got me."_

  You had Dean. 

* * *

 

 

Dean realized that after what happened in the bar, he had walked into something much bigger than he had thought. In the bar, when he saw you with Brad, he felt strange. He knew you were with someone, but seeing it was different. He wanted to do something, make him stop touching you. All he needed as motivation was Brad jerking you up. It was only when he pulled you out into the car and looked at you that he realized. What he was feeling in there and all the time you were gone was  _jealousy, love._ It wasn't like him, not at all, but after what he saw he knew that he couldn't shy away from it. What he felt for you, what he did for you, all of it meant there was no going back.Soon after that drive, Dean insisted on checking over you. He didn't know what was going on before, but after seeing it all, he knew. The man you were with, he was abusing you. It shook him to his core, all while he was sulking in puppy love over those three weeks you were being beaten.  It was quiet. Silent. No words exchanged. Only looks. Dean gazed at you with a smile on his face. Yet his eyes were filled with sadness and guilt. But on the other hand his hands were clenched in burning anger. You held them in yours. "Dean, I'm... I'm glad that you did what you did when you did it. He won't come for me, that I know. He's been done with me. I don't know where I'll go but I'll fine closure somewhere." You flashed a smile at him and sat down so he could patch you up. " In the bunker here with us, me an' Sammy. It's the safest place I know. Stay here. With me. I care about ya' a lot, in a way that I wanna admit. I started realizin' it when you were gone an' in that bar- I just -I did it for you." Dean's breathing patterns weren't stable, he wasn't used to any of this. No chick flick moments went out of the window. 

  You wanted to tell him that it was mutual, that you loved him. But, you didn't not yet. You'd been stuck in a situation where coming back to a place that was supposed to mean love and humbleness instead evoked fear. If you thought something would be a safe place, along with that came danger. The worst part, it was all in your head. Still yet, time was needed to adjust, to adapt to things getting better. "I'm sorry, but I can't return your feelings. Not yet." Dean sat down next to you and nodded his head, setting his hand on your knee. Your leg drew back slightly but you adjusted quickly. "I hope you can understand that. I don't know how long things will take. I'm just not ready." There was a small intake of breath from Dean and then he looked at you, with you gazing back. He placed a kiss to your forehead. "I know. I'll help you. Me an' Sammy will go get your things from that dick. Then, we'll move on like we always do. 'Cause we're strong. You're strong." 

 

                                                                                                          _You're strong._

* * *

 

Months passed, they were hard. Memories and nightmares plagued you. But, things eventually became easier. Nightmares were less frequent, you had bad memories replaced by good ones that you made with Dean and Sam. Along the way, you actually had fallen in love with Dean. Before, you hadn't planned to, only to adapt to what new life was like. But, here you were standing in front of Dean.  **"** **I'm ready."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Past author: Hopefully this comes out at the most two days after the previous chapter because I'm really excited to write. It's about 11am and I'm wanting to get a chapter out today yet it took me way too long last time (like an entire month). Hope for the best? ALSO the reason for me trying to get this out so early is due to a request. If someone wants something I do my best to get it done. But on the other hand if I'm doing something on my own time freely, I tend to waver. So, if you're hoping for quicker updates then comment some junk you want to see done. Requests=motivation.
> 
> I hope this wasn't too disappointing, the prompt kinda got away from me.


	5. D is for Djinn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If I include a summary my ass is gonna give it away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S/C is skin color.   
> This was fun, but it was also long and hard. Requests are open, so do that if you want...?

   

 Everything was perfect. Every single thing was perfect down to each detail and it captivated you. Jo, Ellen, Bobby, Kevin and Charlie, they were all visiting your home.  _ Your home _ _._ You held a picnic for everyone in your back yard. There was watermelon, snacks, and Dean was on the grill with an apron that read 'Kiss the Chef'. Although it didn't seem like a good time to be grilling since it would be getting dark soon. 

  On each table there were cards and flowers, this was all in celebration of your marriage to Sam. As you took a glance around yourself, what you saw was happiness. Bobby had a beer in his hand as he spoke to Ellen and Jo had joined Dean at the grill. Both Charlie and Kevin were laughing about Dean destroying your pie. After he'd done that you made another one, so currently there was a blueberry pie in the oven.

  The atmosphere was light and joyful. Nothing could ruin this if it tried. It was pure bliss, the moment was heavy with laughs and smiles. For a moment you'd felt like something was missing- but in a second's time- it wasn't anymore. You felt strong, warm arms wrap around you from behind and a strong jaw lands itself in the crook of your neck. This was the completion, wholeness, it was him, Sam. Sam was your other half. You almost purred at the contact. He made you feel warm, protected, and his body covered you from head to toe. His smell reminded you of the scent after rain and the concrete was still wet and it held the aroma of an old library or a fresh cup of coffee. Sam was swaying you side to side as you both looked at how perfect everything was. For some reason, there was an itch in the back of your mind bugging you, like you were missing something. Yet, you couldn't pin point what it was.

 ' Everybody is having a good time baby, why do you seem so tense?' Sam's voice rung out and pulled you from your thoughts. 'I'm happy. Thinking a little bit.' You looked up at him from behind and he placed a soft kiss on your lips. 'Y/N, if something is up you know you can tell me.' 'Of course, I  just spaced out for a bit there.' He flashed you a smile, gave you another kiss and walked over to Dean at the grill. 

  After looking at everyone one last time, you headed into the house. Each room was its own piece of art that complimented everything else. It was beautiful, and it felt like you were at peace, at home. It  was exactly what you wanted; each room filled with memories and felt like home. There were photographs of you and Sam together; some were of visited places or other people. Even though you looked at each of them, they  just didn't seem to fit. The same nagging feeling from before was back. You pushed the thought to the back of your head. Everything was good right now, why worry? The scent of something sweet filled your nose and you could've groaned from how good it was.  Eventually , you tracked down the smell and it led you to the kitchen. Gabriel was there, pulling pies and other sweets from the oven. You caught him trying to stick a fork in your blueberry pie and you slapped his hand away. 'Gabriel stay off the pie!' You flicked him and he chuckled. 'Alright alright sweet pea, I won't touch the pie. But unfortunately for you, you didn't say cake.' Gabe took the cake by the platter under it and started running off. 'Gabriel!' You started laughing and chased after him. The sound of feet padding on the hardwood floor and giggles overtook your senses. This  is perfect.

  Gabe got stuck at the sliding door and couldn't fit through by the time you'd made it to him. Before he had a chance to dip a finger in the icing you'd already taken it and started  playfully scolding him. It took a minute, but you noticed he wasn't paying attention to you. His eyes focused on the back yard. With a grin, you turned your head to where he was looking, and your jaw went slack. Cake in hands, you were looking at one of the most beautiful sights of your life. It was almost dark, the sun was setting, and there were fireflies everywhere. Everyone was laughing and attempting to catch them. One would flicker and the others would follow, they looked like Christmas lights. Charlie was running after one with a mason jar in her hand while Kevin doubled over in laughter.  All of it seemed so unreal. If you had to choose a favorite moment to capture, it would be this one. Sam was chuckling, and you glanced at him as his head turned to you. He sent you a face splitting smile and made his way over to you. 'Excuse me, Gabriel.' Gabriel held his hands up in false surrender and moved to join everyone else, but not before taking the cake. 'Let me take this off your hands.' Then he sent you a wink and you rolled your eyes. 'Gonna come join us?' You nodded and felt Sam's arm hook around your shoulders as you walked over to everyone else.  The rest of the night filled with Gabriel eating half the cake, Charlie catching too many lightning bugs to count, and Jo flirting her way over to Dean .  Not to mention Sam's relentless kisses all over your face after he joked that some fireflies had landed on you and he was  just attempting to get them off . You thought it couldn't get any better, and you were right. It got much worse.

  You'd become too tired and passed out on Sam's lap. He carried you up the stairs into your shared room and let you sleep with him curled up against your back. He traced patterns on your soft S/C skin as you slept. Unusual things filled your head. Images of strange,  scraggly looking monsters, sounds of gunshots, black eyes, and Sam. Within a second you woke up and it was daylight. There was no account of that time passing in your head but you let it go. You had sprung up off the bed and your hands were behind you, holding up your body.  With your breathing heavy, and torso shaking, you changed into some more comfortable clothes .   In hope of some relief, you headed down the stairs without a thought of your spot changing from the night before or Sam . When you reached the bottom of the stairs, you decided to make some tea. What you needed was something to calm down with, and tea would do it. The burner  was turned on and you filled up a pot with water and a few tea bags before setting up a pitcher and some sugar. Your body leaned up against the counter as you were trying your best to dis last night's visions from your head. There was no such luck, and instead of waiting on the tea, you made your way through the house once again. You still couldn't place anything that was in the photos. 

As you continued walking throughout the house, a small table caught your eye. It was in the corner with a small lamp on it. Papers scattered across it and it was almost like a work space that hadn't been cleaned up. Out of the clutter of things in a heap on the table, you focused on one photo, sitting right on top. Your eyes glazed over with held tears and you picked it up between your trembling fingers. The picture showed an image of you and your father standing together at your wedding, hand in hand. The date was written only from a month ago. A flash came before your eyes, and Sam was above you, with his hand on your face. The room was lit, and it smelled like cleaning products. Your head was killing you, a strong pulsing in your head. There was aching all over your body, you felt drained. Then, with another flash, it was gone. Everything clicked. The visions, pictures, the nagging in your head. For Sam to supposedly be married to you, your dad back, and all your friends up walking meant one thing. None of this was real.They all pieced together, this was all fake.

  You'd never had a wedding, and as for your father, he'd been gone for a _very long_ time. When your dad died- that was how you came across the supernatural and hunters. You were a hunter, not some married woman with a perfect life. Sam walked down the stairs and you knew what you were dealing with. You were in love with Sam. Completely and  utterly in love with this man. Sam Winchester meant happiness to you. Bad day? He was there with snacks and an open heart. Nightmares? He'd put on your favorite movie and hold you like nobody ever had. Bad hunt? Sam patched you up and made sure you were okay. The youngest Winchester brother was your biggest want in life. He was the perfect man. Sweet, caring, and understanding. For this perfect man you'd been lusting over to supposedly be married to you meant one thing. This was a Djinn's work. Dean had told you before about his experience with one but never told you how it ended. Only that, 'They're bastards, they mess with your mind and make you think you have it all.' This wasn't real, and it was terrifying.  _How the hell do I get out of this?_

In a sudden movement, Sam was in front of you. You must have spaced out at some point while thinking. 'Y/N, baby look at me. What's going on?' Sam was in front of your face trying to catch your attention. 'I'm good Sam, I-' His hands were on your cheeks.. 'Y/N you're not. You spaced out, your breathing is heavy and your knees are shaking.' You didn't even notice. Sam exhaled and let his forehead lay against yours. Then he kissed you. Your lips moved against his and you wondered, would it be so bad to stay? His scent filled your nose and his hands made their way to your hips. He gripped them  tightly and pulled you to him. You gasped and pulled away. Even though you knew it wasn't real, when you looked up into Sam's eyes you couldn't help yourself. Would it be possible for you to stay, for  just a little longer? 'What's wrong?' 'Nothing  really , I had a nightmare last night. I wasn't focused.' He nodded and hand in hand, he took you to the kitchen to prepare the tea you'd left.  _ He isn't real. None of this is real. _ Convincing yourself wasn't working. A larger part of you wanted to stay here, stay with him. You weren't ready to let him go after remembering so many hard nights of not having him to call yours. Now that you finally did, it was fake. You knew it all too well, but  maybe it was worth it. You had everything you ever wanted right here, and you wouldn't have to lift a finger. He was in love with you, your dad was back, and so were  all of your friends. Why give this place up for hunting and pain? 

  Sam put his hands on your hips and swayed you back and forth like yesterday. He whispered in your ear, 'If the reason you keep spacing out is that of your nightmare, think of it like some crazy dream. You'll get through it. I'm here.' In that moment, when Sam said that to you, you knew why. Why it wasn't worth it. This was  really like some crazy dream, and you wanted to get through it like he said. You wanted Sam to be there for you, but you wanted the real Sam.  _ Your Sam. _  The life you had outside this was a hard one, the life of a hunter. Nonetheless, you took it and you refused to give up now. There were people out there,  truly living, they needed your help, and you refused to let this Djinn get the best of you. You wouldn't give up to some monster.

 

   Along with figuring out why it wasn't good to be here because of his words, you also realized something else. This 'realm' was more or less  similar to a crazy dream that Sam described. If you have a dream and then you die, you wake up. If you died here, you assumed the same thing would happen, it was your only shot. Suicide was grim but it seemed like the only option. 

  'Hello? Baby?' 'Oh-yeah. I get it, you're here. Thank you.  Just thinking again. I'm gonna head up stairs, get a little bit more sleep.  Maybe that's why I keep losing focus. Tired, y'know?' Sam nodded and removed his hands from your hips. 'Don't keep yourself up, lay down and don't worry about a thing.' He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and sent you off.  It was hard to think that none of it was real; you'd imagined Sam kissing you so many times and feeling it while having to deny it was torture . You let out a sigh and made it half way up the stairs before looking back down at him.  __ And to think for a while, you actually had me fooled. You Winchester brothers will be the death of me.  _ _

* * *

  Staring. you were  just staring at it. You'd broken a mirror and Sam heard it. He was beating on the door, begging you to open up. He knew what you were doing. There was a shard of glass in your hand from the mirror and you didn't know if you could go through it with what he was saying. 'We can be happy. You'll never worry again. Out there, where things are real, you'll suffer. Here? You'll live a life time. With me, with Dean, with Gabe, Charlie-' 'Shut up! You're not real.' 'I know. But the happiness you'll have from being here won't be. True happiness from fake things sounds better than pain from real ones. If you do this, you'll regret it. If you wake up, what then? Sam isn't going to up and fall in love with you  just because you were a damsel in distress for a while.' 'I know. But I have a feeling.' With that, you drove the shard through your stomach and hoped for the best. 

* * *

  


  There was no big inhale of breath or a jolt of reality,  just your eyes fluttering open. You listened to your shallow breaths as you stared up at the hotel ceiling. You shifted your head a little to absorb your surroundings, and you saw Sam in a chair next to your bed asleep. But Dean, he was awake with wide eyes. 'Y/N? Is- are you- we thought you were gone. We couldn't get the ingredients for the antidote and we thought..' He inhaled 'We thought you were gone for good. How did you..?' Your throat seized up at an attempt to speak and he was at your side in a second. 'Sorry, haven't spoken in a while. How long was I out?' 'Couple days. Sammy is gonna be happy to see ya. He uh- he said some things.' 'What kind of things?' 'You'll wanna hear it from him.' 'Alright well. I realized it wasn't real. Saw something I knew wasn't right and I figured it out.' 'Yeah. Guess you don't need any more sleep after all that.' You chuckled a little at Dean's attempt to lighten the mood. 'Yeah, no. I'm good.' 'Glad to have you back.' He pulled you in for a hug, and then went off to get some food. You took a look at Sam. 

_ ' _ _I know. But I have a feeling.'_  

You hoped to god you were right as Sam started to wake up the next morning.  Possibly even before all this, he'd had feelings for you. 'Sam? You waking up?' 'Y/N?' He gasped. 'Y/N!' Sam jolted up and pulled you into his hold  shakily . 'Oh my god, we thought you were gone- I thought you were-' 'It's okay Sam, I'm here. I'm not leaving anytime soon. Neither are you.' 'Well of course not, you just got b-' Your lips smashed to his in a second.  It felt nothing like the fake him, his lips  were chapped and he tasted  surprisingly good for recently having woke up . What  really surprised you was, he was as greedy and willing as you if not more. His hands were all over you, and his lips were somehow forced into yours even more. Then you both pulled away, and you were out of breath as you looked into each others eyes. 'When I was in there, whatever that was. I was with you, and we were happy. It was you Sam, you're what I want, and I love you.' The only sound was heavy breathing until he pressed his forehead to yours and smiled. 'I love you too. But, I'm disappointed.' 'Why?' 'I  was supposed to be the first one to say it. When I told Dean, he got pissed at me for not saying something when I had the chance.' 

_ 'He uh- he said some things.' _

' We're both stubborn. Don't be.' Sam let out a brief chuckle before smirking. 'So, I was your wish, huh?' 

_ That cocky motherfucker.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I love this. REQUESTS AND FEEDBACK PLZ. Also, should I post this stuff on my tumblr? Or link it here possibly for those of you that have a preference for it?

**Author's Note:**

> Requests are encouraged


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